Sometimes moms are a little mean.
Sometimes they're a little awkward.
Sometimes they're a little funny.
All these things. On and on and on.

Thanks Nolie.

N: Mom, why are you crying?
M: Cause I'm a girl.
N: (Sympathetic look on his face) And you wanna be a boy?

Hey mom, this is cool! The bowls go strongest to weakest! So the biggest and strongest in our family, gets the strong bowl. And the shortest and weakest in our family, which is you, gets the weakest bowl! Cool hey?

N: Um mom, how old is the shed? Like, has it had a birthday yet?
M: It's a year and a half old
N: (wide eyes) Oooohhh! Exciting!!!

Hey dad, can you look on the computer and see if there's any mad scientists in the world? And if there are, can you tell me where they are so I can go find them? I need one to make lasers come out of my eyes so I can be superman.

Overheard from the living room:

And a one, and a two, and a three, Heavenly Father ...

This was the start of his blessing on his breakfast.

"Hey mom, did you know, when you touch your eye, it actually makes your eyeball feel fresh? It actually does! Feels pretty good!"

Wow. I ... had no idea.

Nolan: Where do hamburgers come from? Me: Cows N: How do they get it from the cow? M: (Awkward pause) ... they have to kill the cow ... N: (shocked look) Why? M: Because the hamburger is from the cows muscles. (Oh my ...) N: Why don't they just open the cow, take out the meat, and then tie it back closed? M: Because cows can't live without their meat N: Why don't they put pigs meat in the cows? M: Then the pig wouldn't be alive. N: What do we get from pig meat? M: Bacon N: Mmm, I LOVE bacon! Indeed. Clearly pigs don't matter as much as cows.

N: Mom, what is flush? M: Like when you flush a toilet? N: No, the other kind. Like when dad showed me that video about Jesus, and he said "Here, eat all my flush."

M: My cousins son just went into the MTC. N: (wide eyed) He went into the empty sea?? What for??

I don't ever wanna drink alcohol, it kills your brain cells. And sometimes makes you wanna eat your parents.

I just KNEW one day I would get a whole entire crio bru! Now my heart is full of happy!

Hey mom, when we were Easter bunnies, then heavenly father was turning into an Easter bunny too! Oh wait ... uh, that was awkward!

Heavenly Father, I have something to say to you. I love being smart and silly, and I know you made me smart and silly.I just wanted to say thank you. You're the best!

Hey mom, when I'm done eating, you and me can kiss!

Hey you, c'mere woman! I need ta dance with ya! (grabs me around the waist and starts shakin it). Now, what ya got cookin over there, you good lookin?

M: We need to go shower nolie
N: Why?
M: Because we stink!
N: And when we stink we don't taste good?
M: (laughing) Exactly!
N: But mom, if we just eat some marshmallows, we'll taste good again!

Just listenin to some tunes, doing my dance moves on the couch, when Nolie comes and yanks me up and says "C'mon mom, Jesus wikes us to dance on the fwoor!"

I see what he's learning in primary ...

N: Here you go mom, it's a delicious drink!
M: ( After I'm done "drinking") Thanks honey, that WAS delicious!
N: You're welcome, it's a piranha milkshake!

.....

Apparently this is the song Nolan learned in primary this week:

Jesus was a prophet, who tried to run away to the carnival ...